Changing Your Mood to Change Your Life: Practical Strategies for Better Outcomes

With Dr Pedram Shojai

NY Times Best Selling author and film maker. Taoist Abbot and Qigong master. Husband and dad. I’m here to help you find your way and be healthy and happy. I don’t want to be your guru…just someone who’ll help point the way. If you’re looking for a real person who’s done the work, I’m your guy. I can light the path and walk along it with you but can’t walk for you.

Welcome to a special solo episode of The Urban Monk Podcast. Today we’re diving deep into a crucial topic: how your mood influences the outcomes in your life. This episode is part of a new series where we’ll be exploring key focus areas in depth.

Expect more of these concentrated, impactful discussions in the future as we delve into the science and practice of personal transformation. Let’s begin our exploration of how changing your mood can truly change your life.

Listen to the episode on Spotify here or on your favorite podcast platform and check out the Urban Monk Academy here.

Podcast transcript:

Hey Dr. Pedram Shojai the urban monk podcast. This is a mid form where it’s a conversation I’m having with your bunk academy students. Talking all about how your mood can influence the outcomes of what’s happening in your life. So changing your mood to change your life. Enjoy.

Dr Pedram Shojai: So the idea here is if you can change your mood your actual outcomes get better in what you’re doing. So All the, all the feel good stuff actually is now proving to be absolutely true. And so where do we see that? We’ll see it in relationships. Just think about having a scowl.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Someone who’s, walk into a room, someone’s got a scowl on their face. You’re like Nope. I’m going to talk to that, but that person over there. And so you start to really draw negative energy if you are exuding negative energy. You remind, if you’re wearing all your worries on your face, you’re reminding everyone who encounters you of their worries, and then you’re no fun to be around and it makes it hard to communicate with, and frankly, you’re not approachable, right?

Dr Pedram Shojai: And so if you’re in an industry where people’s skills matter you know and you’ve known me long enough to know that I’m not saying fake it, right? We’re going to talk about how to change your mood, not fake your mood. Not be like great. I’m so good. That’s bullshit. So how do we actually get ourselves into a different state of being and stay there?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Science shows that you will absolutely increase productivity because your motivation and focus are impacted by a better mood. So you’ll actually accomplish more, better health, lower stress levels cortisol levels will keep you skinnier, they’ll have those individuals with lower stress have better immune system function, overall cardiovascular health it’ll help you build resilience.

Dr Pedram Shojai: There’s just so many examples I’ve used over the years. There’s this famous one where there was a nurse who claimed she didn’t sleep and didn’t need it, and they’re like, come on. So it turns out she did sleep, she just snuck it here and there. But the one thing that the researchers all noted, and they followed around for like several weeks or months, was that she was the most chipper, positive like just good attitude person they’ve ever been across, ever come across.

Dr Pedram Shojai: And guess what? She dealt with trauma all day in the hospital and she had long hard hours and she shifted her operating system and needed less sleep, right? She didn’t need no sleep, but she needed less sleep. The obvious other ones are creativity with better mood, better decision making. If you’re in a foul mood and you’re in your amygdala, you’re not able to Rationalize and think clearly.

Dr Pedram Shojai: about logical outcomes. So the decision making process happens partially through the prefrontal cortex, but it also senses back downwards. So Betty comes over and says, Hey it’s such a beautiful day. We should go take a walk and catch up. And you’re thinking to yourself, shove off Betty. I’ve got X, Y, and Z I haven’t done today.

Dr Pedram Shojai: And then I got to pick up the kids and then I got to do this and look at that damn mess over there. I don’t deserve it. And so you say no and so then it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy where you don’t do the things that enhance your mood and You make decisions that keep you crawling in a bed.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Not the best. Poor mood leads to lower self confidence Looking in the mirror 12 times, changing the outfit 6 times before you leave the house. Happens very frequently when you don’t feel good. Poor mood actually ruins your sleep quality. It’s associated with higher levels of interruptions and sleep latency.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Don’t really know why, right? There’s a lot of speculation as to why, but it’ll screw up your sleep. And guess what happens to me when I don’t sleep well? I’m in a bad mood. So it’s a very vicious cycle that and the idea that life in and of itself is to be enjoyed. A lot of people have lost that, that operating system script, right?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Or it’s ho hum, work, feed the kids, do the things, we have all become , Maoist automatons in some ways. And so the poor mood The foul mood actually makes you a better slave because you just go back to work and you are willing to accept antidepressants for every little blip.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Because you don’t have time for a poor mood, and the poor mood is something that we try to explain off, we try to pretend is not happening, and then eventually, cracks in the concrete, don’t you? So what can we do to improve our mood? And what I’d like to do is have you all go into the chat thread and type what it is that you do.

Dr Pedram Shojai: So it’s not Pedram lecturing, but it’s, kind of group thunk here. What do you do to improve your mood that works for you most of the time? Type it in the chat thread.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Sorry, I’m still trying to let people in. There’s this thing where people just fall out and then come back in repeatedly. So it makes it a little harder. Come on, chat. There it is. Susie loves her team. She watches her Blue Jays. So Susie, the big question is, are you still in a good mood when they lose?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Cause that’s the thing about sports teams. Okay. All right. Then great. Fame, I’ve said this many times, I found myself in a foul mood one day and I traced back to the stupid Lakers losing which happens more often than not nowadays. And I was like, I don’t, I can’t afford to be moody over this, right?

Dr Pedram Shojai: So as you guys are typing and sleep always works, but don’t always get get a good night, which is obviously a problem. And we’ve talked about this a lot and is those two things feed each other, right? Stress. And mood feeds sleep and sleep feeds back to positive stress and mood, which is quite the quagmire, right?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Which is, you gotta get out of that eddy. And that’s where, I feel sleep is one of the greatest levers one can pull. And the problem with sleep. The glaringly obvious yet unspoken problem with sleep in our culture is that it has also been relegated to a pill for an ill medicine.

Dr Pedram Shojai: So it’s like, what do I take to help me sleep? Not what do I change in my life to help me sleep? And that’s a bitch. The delta between those two questions is a hell of a lot of personal work, responsibility, accountability. Not. necessarily what the average consumer wants to hear, but doggone it, it’s true.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Gina Nature Walk Dog, Feed Myself Emotionally, and Physically, Qigong. And the night, sorry, they’re coming in, let me expand this they’re bumping each other. Kathleen, and again, guys, I’m reading these out loud for the people who come later for the recording, obviously. Kathleen, eating at the right time for my body and eating good quality food all, makes all the difference in my mood and tolerance.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Blood sugar stability. Who else who else feels that with their blood sugar when they miss the mark? It’s oh boy, I see that with my kids all the time, right? It’s you want it, you’re like, what the hell is wrong with these crazy animals? You’re like, oh, it’s lunchtime, right? We’re the same.

Dr Pedram Shojai: We’re the same, right? Nancy, morning routine sets up her day. Heart opening, forgiveness, meditations, plus gratitude. Feed the birds and squirrels. Outdoor Qigong. Lovely. Gratitude’s a big one we’re going to talk about in a sec. Linda I go out or at least look at nature from my window, think of things to be grateful for, affirmation and prayer.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Excellent. Gratitude, affirmation, sleep, blood sugar, stability, walking outside, nature. Toronto Blue Jays. Vida or Veda movement going for a walk. Breathwork helps to change my state, but I find that in a bad mood, I often don’t get myself to just start. Yeah, that’s the thing about mood, ain’t it?

Dr Pedram Shojai: It’s a momentum based phenomenon, right? So when you’re already in a foul mood, it’s really hard to funk yourself chipper, right? And for me and a lot of people I know, the best trigger is exercise. If I’m in a foul mood, whether it’s going for a walk, going for a run, getting on the bike, or like pressing on, heavy weights or something, I don’t, I can say 9.

Dr Pedram Shojai: 9 times out of 10, I can’t think of a time, unless I’ve egregiously injured myself like an idiot, that I end up in a worse mood after exercise, when I needed a state change, right? Meditation works great. But for some people, they can take the drama to the cushion. And I’m sure some people can relate to that here is Oh my God, I can’t believe Barry just said that I’m going to go sit on my cushion and huff.

Dr Pedram Shojai: And then I’m going to puff, right? Like you’re not meditating. You’re. Stewing, right? And so for folks who, I’ve been teaching meditation for a long time, for folks who have that problem, I say go punch a bag, go out into nature, go for a run, go for a walk, go watch your blue jays, right?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Do the other thing and then go back to meditation. So next time you don’t lose your cool, right? Diet, incredibly important. I find that if I’m having high sugar foods, I will be incredibly irritated within an hour to two after and if I don’t catch myself being like you idiot, you had the, organic gluten free cookies I don’t care if they’re organic or gluten free, it’s the sugar and so that can really set you off.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Bad oils. There’s a famous place in Park City. We used to go to amazing Jamaican food Delicious, like I love their jerk chicken couldn’t eat there. I felt sad and Depressed every time I ate there and I’m like, what the hell do you guys cook with? And they were cooking with some shit oil, right?

Dr Pedram Shojai: And I’m like, can I suggest, better oils? And they’re like it costs more. I’m like, yeah, but you just lost my business, right? Think better. But I just, I couldn’t eat there. It was crazy. What a lot of people do and what a multi billion dollar industry is built on is social connection to change mood.

Dr Pedram Shojai: So who here picks up I don’t think I’m gonna monk shame you here who here picks up their Instagram or their TikTok when they’re in a foul mood to thumb around a little bit, to look at some feeds and see what their friends are doing, to feel less lonely, less sad, right? To connect some.

Dr Pedram Shojai: That’s why their algorithms are so good, is because They’re really driving an intrinsic motivation, an internal trigger of social connection and loneliness and then giving you something to look at for hours and then selling you a Toyota. But that is a tried and true way of, Shifting mood.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Gratitude high on the list. If you don’t have a gratitude practice, you are doing yourself a disservice. What gratitude does to our minds, our awareness, and our consciousness is really lifts us out Of the debacle that we find ourselves in. Oh, I either got to tell him he’s got to leave or I got to leave, or I can make him his favorite meal by him, buy him a doodad and go on a trip with him and solve my marital problems.

Dr Pedram Shojai: I got to, either be paleo or vegan. Or I could just eat sensibly and stop listening to all this nonsense, right? And so there’s just so much of this pendulum swing of black or white that we find ourselves in our mentality. And we, in the use of gratitude as a powerful lever to change our frame of mind, open ourselves up to all that’s good, which then opens us up from the either or decisions that we think we have to make.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Kathleen, I’ve deliberately stopped myself going near socials when I’m in a bad mood or feeling flat. It definitely makes me feel worse. What’s funny is there are different ways the algorithm targets you. So based on your user click behavior, and we just Read a book about this, right? The algo knows that you getting, seeing horrible things, or nasty things, or sad things keeps you there longer and hooks you longer.

Dr Pedram Shojai: So you’re not getting the cat videos. Whereas some other people don’t stay longer with the nasty stuff, they bail out. And they get the cat videos, right? So based on how you respond when despondent, the algorithm will give you more, right? Nancy’s found a couple of Facebook groups that are uplifting.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Otherwise stay in a way getting caught in the stroll. It’s really hard. It’s really the tried and trues of gratitude, exercise, nature obviously sleep. But sleep has so many so many aspects to it that require you to do all this other stuff, right? Hobbies that you enjoy. Art, painting, badminton, crochet, I don’t care, right?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Hobbies that you enjoy. And then obviously, the limiting of negative inputs. If you’re already down, don’t read the news, right? If you are feeling blue about X, Y, or Z don’t bring it up in conversation at the cocktail party, right? There are ways to shift your perspective. But I personally find that an overt gross, like gross, not like disgusting, but like large physiological pulse does the most for myself and my patients, which is, and for some of you, listen, console your doctor, just get your heart rate up over 150 for at least three minutes.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Five minutes. That elevated heart rate absolutely shifts. All of your perspective around the stress that you thought you were feeling. Because guess what? Your brain is now stressed it’s not getting enough oxygen. And it says, Shut up about the stupid PowerPoint. I need oxygen. And you do that. You get the brain oxygen.

Dr Pedram Shojai: And then you go back to saying, What the hell was I fussing about? It works amazingly well. It’ll shift your mood in a way that is meaningful, measurable, and accessible within literally five minutes. If it’s going to take you a hot minute to get up to 150 or you have, To scale, what’s the right word?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Tiptoe your way up to that kind of elevated heart rate? Do it that way, right? Don’t die, I’m not giving you, bad cardiology advice here. Do it in a way where you get yourself up there, but if you’re not, suffering from heart disease, race to 150 or 160, come back down, 10 minutes later, assess your mood.

Dr Pedram Shojai: And honestly, like just on a one to 10 scale, right? I would say, and I’ll make up the scale with you right now. What is my, 10, one being foul, 10 being the best mood I’ve ever been in. What’s my mood right now on a one to 10 scale? What’s where’s my optimism right now?

Dr Pedram Shojai: And on a one to 10 scale, where’s my motivation right now? That’s it. Three, three, three markers. Then get your heart rate up to one 50 for at least. Three minutes, if you can sustain it, if not, go up and down, if you can sustain it for a minute, go back down, go back up, go back down, but get your heart rate to 150 for three sustained minutes, by hook or by crook, wait 10 minutes, and then redo these three questions.

Dr Pedram Shojai: If you’re not at least 50 percent better, I’ll get a hair transplant. It’s literally that easy, but the problem is, I don’t feel like it, I don’t feel like it. How 150 if I’m sitting on the sofa? I go for a walk. And then after about 10 minutes of some form of movement, then I say, okay, I’m going to do a sprint.

Dr Pedram Shojai: I’m going to do squats. I’m going to do whatever it is to get to 150. I’ve found that it’s very it’s very easy for 20 year old guys with six packs to give menopausal women health advice that they’ll never follow. I’ve found that, the elite fitness experts saying, do what I do is BS, right?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Because if you are down, you are blue, your knees hurt, you’re overweight, getting up and jumping up to 150 beats per minute, sounds a little daunting, right? And so that’s where the sequencing comes in. Go for a walk, go for a longer walk, eventually work your way up to a brisk walk, eventually work your way up to getting to 150, but you will get there.

Dr Pedram Shojai: If you go for that walk every day, get your ass up and go for the walk. Anytime you’re in a foul mood. So you know what? I’ll be back in 15 minutes. And if you could get your heart rate up to 150, the target is three minutes. Okay. But if you could just get to 150 and drop back down, it’s a hell of a lot better than you did yesterday.

Dr Pedram Shojai: And from there, the, there’s a dawn on your perspective. There is literally a mood sunrise that starts to color your days. In a way where you’re like, yeah, why don’t we do that? We used to garden, right? And you start doing the things again that come with good mood and positivity. Once you start shifting yourself it’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Dr Pedram Shojai: So positivity absolutely begets positivity and negativity does the opposite. As much as I am a fan of Zen Buddhism. Vipassana, equanimity, and the non judgmental observation of mental states.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Sometimes you just got to kick yourself in the ass to force yourself into a better mood, to get the positive momentum going, and then you’ll sit down and do your Vipassana more often anyways. So I’m not a Luddite, right? I think the Buddhist stuff is lovely. I think the Taoist stuff is exquisite. I think the modern stuff is relevant.

Dr Pedram Shojai: And so some of what we’ve been learning is that you will be better and do better and perform better and have more friends. and make more money and be in better shape if you’re in a better mood. That’s why everyone’s doing ketamine now. That’s why Quaaludes hit the 60s, right? People understand that if you change your mood can avert your suffering or at least delay your suffering, which is not what I’m condoning.

Dr Pedram Shojai: What I’m saying is use natural methodology to change your mood to then allow you to make better decisions that then allow you to stay in a better mood. You want to live there, you might need a tow truck to get back on the superhighway. So what’s that tow truck for you? What is it that you’re willing to do to pull yourself up and out today to experiment with for a better mood?

Dr Pedram Shojai: Walk in nature, practice gratitude, do some squats. All are, not teenagers. So you’ve already experimented in this thing called life. You already know some of the things that make you better. How many of you are willing to. experiment with this 150 beats thing this week. Raise your hands.

Dr Pedram Shojai: All right, seeing signs of life and digitally raise your hands if you’re not on camera, please. Or yeah, a good old yes goes a long way, Masuda. Thank you.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Amazing. Kathleen, I was doing ocean dips weekly with a group. It’s amazing for boosting mood, freezing cold, but observing how different the ocean rolls each week. A different, our body responds to the cold. Last week my hands were aching. They were so cold. Laugh at myself for choosing that. Felt great to be alive with all the senses buzzing.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Cold plunge, huge. You know what elevates my mood a lot? I just, I have a hard time recommending it broadly. Cause it’s a couple years ago I did this meme with a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow and said, let them eat kale. It’s expensive. eating organic and right? So it’s for me to say, Oh, you should do an infrared sauna.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Not everyone can afford that, but if you can, it’s awesome, right? I love my infrared sauna. It absolutely boosts my mood. But does that take the place of exercise? No. So Masuda’s in, Gary’s in, Susie’s in, Anne is in, Nancy is in, Kathleen is in whoever else, look, I’m not going to bully you into doing what’s right for you.

Dr Pedram Shojai: And I’m not going to shame you into doing what’s right for you, but I would like for you next week. To come back and hear from one of these six or seven people that just said, I’m willing to try this, how it worked for them, Vita is in because it’s really easy. And I found this happens a lot is.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Oh Pedram, you were a monk. You’re different. Not sure how, but people think that I’m some sort of superhuman that, has no issues with, challenge challenges or calamity or on all of it. So I’d rather them hear it from you because you represent each other to each other.

Dr Pedram Shojai: So that’s why I’m doing it that way. I think let me just be clear. So I got one minute, the assignment to be clear is, Get your heart rate up to 150 for 3 minutes. Take those, answer those 3 questions, and then 10 minutes later, answer the 3 questions again. Easy way to measure without a device, good old fashioned style, count.

Dr Pedram Shojai: Every time you hear, every time you feel it hit your finger that’s 1, right? So beats per minute, this is how we used to do it, old school, before all this cute stuff showed up. Right there. And I promise you, if you’re close to 150, you’ll feel it, right? And the questions, what were the questions?

Dr Pedram Shojai: I didn’t write them down. Someone did. I just in the order I did it didn’t matter the order but what’s one to ten what’s my current mood one to ten What’s my optimism like and my what was it my motivation? I think that was the three. There’s a few more. Yeah. Thank you There’s a few more on that scale, but I’m gonna keep it limited and I’m gonna keep it to three minutes at 150 next week We’re gonna talk about movement to influence vitality and a little bit more about exercise and movement And we’re going to continue on this theme and I’m gonna I’m gonna stay on cut Subjects and talking points on a weekly basis and then have room for questions as we go.

Dr Pedram Shojai: But I feel like teaching stuff. So I hope this was useful to y’all and we will review how y’all did next week. Thank you very much. We’ll see you.

I hope you enjoyed that. We do that every week, live interaction. After I finished talking, I take questions. We hang out with the urban monk academy students. It’s fun. It’s a good thing. So check it out. The urban monk.com. Um, up top says academy, click it join any time you’ll be in the live room, hanging out, just like we just did.

Um, I’m going to selectively drip, some of them here in the podcast, some of them on YouTube, just so folks kind of get a sense of what we’re doing in there. Uh, and hopefully it’s something that sings to you and you understand that we’re trying to help you get better. And the person standing in the way of you getting better usually is you. So how can we unlock our potential by releasing our vitality?

How can we unlock our potential by getting out of our own way? How can we change our mood to change our lives? So what we just talked about. I’ll see you around.

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Dr. Pedram Shojai

NY Times Best Selling author and film maker. Taoist Abbot and Qigong master. Husband and dad. I’m here to help you find your way and be healthy and happy. I don’t want to be your guru…just someone who’ll help point the way. If you’re looking for a real person who’s done the work, I’m your guy. I can light the path and walk along it with you but can’t walk for you.