Unveiling the Mystery: What Is the 6th Love Language?


In the realm of interpersonal connections and intimate relationships, the concept of “love languages” plays a pivotal role. Introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman in his transformative book, “The 5 Love Languages,” this concept has helped people across the globe to comprehend and appreciate the unique ways in which they, and their partners, express and perceive love. This book unveiled five distinct love languages, each with its own nuances and subtleties. However, recent conversations and debates within the relationship and psychology communities have brought to light the existence of a potential 6th love language. This article aims to delve into this intriguing notion and unravel the mystery of this 6th love language.

The Recognized Love Languages

Before we embark on our journey to explore the 6th love language, it is essential to revisit and understand the five love languages that Dr. Chapman initially presented. These are:

  1. Words of Affirmation: This love language is all about verbal expressions of love and affection. People who prefer this language feel most loved when they hear words of appreciation, encouragement, and affirmation from their partners. They thrive on hearing positive words that make them feel cherished.
  2. Acts of Service: For some individuals, actions speak louder than words. Those who resonate with this love language feel most loved when their partner undertakes tasks or chores for them, thereby showing their love through their deeds.
  3. Receiving Gifts: This love language is not about materialism or expensive presents. Instead, it’s about the thought, effort, and sentiment behind the gift. Those who communicate love through this language value the time and consideration invested in choosing a gift that reflects their personality and interests.
  4. Quality Time: Individuals who prefer this love language derive feelings of love from spending quality, uninterrupted time with their partner. Their idea of expressing love involves giving undivided attention to their significant other and sharing meaningful experiences together.
  5. Physical Touch: This love language incorporates any form of physical contact, ranging from holding hands, hugging, or kissing to simply placing a comforting hand on the shoulder. People who favor this language feel loved and secure through physical closeness and touch.

The Emergence of the 6th Love Language

Now, let’s turn our attention to the speculated 6th love language: Understanding. This love language extends beyond simply lending an ear to your partner. Instead, it necessitates deep comprehension, empathy, and acceptance of your partner’s feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

Understanding as a Love Language

Understanding as a love language is fundamentally about empathy. It involves stepping into your partner’s shoes and genuinely comprehending their emotions, thought processes, and experiences. It’s about listening with intent, asking insightful questions, and showcasing emotional intelligence. This love language is essential as it fosters a deep connection and mutual respect that may not always be achieved through the other languages.


The beauty of love languages lies in their diversity and the unique ways in which they allow us to express and receive love. The recognition of “understanding” as a potential 6th love language adds another dimension to this concept, offering a new avenue to express love and connect with our partners on a more profound, empathetic level. As we unravel this mystery, we hope that you will gain a deeper understanding of your own love languages and those of your loved ones, thereby fostering more meaningful and fulfilling relationships.

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Dr. Pedram Shojai

NY Times Best Selling author and film maker. Taoist Abbot and Qigong master. Husband and dad. I’m here to help you find your way and be healthy and happy. I don’t want to be your guru…just someone who’ll help point the way. If you’re looking for a real person who’s done the work, I’m your guy. I can light the path and walk along it with you but can’t walk for you.